Having spent nearly all week, apart from my ESA assessment appointment at home, I was going stir crazy. I wanted a little bit of normal, to try and be husband and wife just for a short while. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy but I was willing to give it a go, so when Andrew came home at lunchtime and mentioned going out later I had agreed, he genuinely looked shocked but I explained I would need help with bathing and a hair wash. So he came home and helped me get organised so we could go and enjoy a few hours together.
Now what do you do on a Friday night? I can’t drink alcohol and Andrew has to drive so a pub is out of the question, a packed cinema is far from ideal when we want to speak to one another, so I thought I would be doubly brave and go for a meal. Yes I can’t manage food but I would try my best and placate Andrew in the process by getting food down in front of him. We headed into Maidenhead and even though we had no reservation were soon seated. My only issue was that to have an accessible seat you have to be near the door, which had been left open, with my inability to regulate my temperature I was feeling the cold most of the evening.
We ordered our drinks and then food, it was not a rushed meal, slow and steady. I ate as much as I could but knew I was in trouble as soon as I started my main meal, the pain just started and kept building. Andrew told me to stop eating but I didn’t let on how severe the pain was, I wasn’t going to spoil this one night out we had experienced alone together in months, and I am talking about a proper night out. No gigs, cameras, distractions or anyone texting us, it was just us for a change, I refused to let my pain get in the way. It was trying its hardest but for now it could just wait until we got home.
He ordered a desert and coffee, we shared the desert and it was just the perfect end to our evening, albeit I was in my chair and in pain but for a moment it felt like old times. We have been together for 23 years and as I looked across I realised that this man who cares for me, does so in every sense of the word, he truly is a special person, a real one of a kind.
We paid the bill and left for home, I was relieved to be honest I was exhausted and ready for bed, despite having only been out of bed a couple of hours. Once home I double my pain relief dose and took some medication for my stomach but it didn’t seem to help. Over the next 48 hours the pain deteriorated and I have been so sleepy, my abdomen is super tender but there is nothing I can do. I have my first set of tests this week and once those are done we might get an insight into what is going on.
In the meantime I am thankful that for once I got a chance to spend a special night with my husband because all too often he is so busy and I am so ill. So when we get that opportunity we needed to grab it with both hands and remember we have “One Life so Let’s Live It”