Hello Jessie

I have forgotten to let my readers know I have officially become a “crazy cat lady”  We rescued another cat a month ago and she appears to be settling in really well, well we thought she was 😳

I heard about this beautiful girl via my daughter, she used to visit a house locally and saw this cat.  It was a multi-occupancy house and despite it having one owner, nobody particularly gave her the cuddle and love that a pet, any pet, really deserves.  I offered her a home and over the next few months, the offer was declining she belonged to an ex-girlfriend and he felt he wanted to keep that connection.  Every time my daughter went she noticed that the cat was left on the stairs and when the occupants went to sleep at night that is where she was left, her food and litter tray was left there and she lived in the hallway.  It broke my heart and I asked her to persevere with the offer of a home here if they really didn’t want to care for her.  Last month to the day Katie arrived with her in a cat box with a carrier bag with two tins of the cheapest, nastiest food.  One treatment of flea drops, she had been treated a few weeks previously due to a “nasty bout” of fleas, someone forgot to mention that!!

We let her out and she roamed about in the front room and it all went a bit wrong, she climbed into the reclining mechanism of our sofa and got stuck, she was scared.  Katie and her man left, so the house was a bit quieter and we then spent half and hour trying to get her out.  Finally we managed to free her from the metalwork and took her to the sanctuary of the box room upstairs, we made this Jessie’s room.

Next day I took her to the vets for a full check up, she was given the thumbs up and once again our vet melted that we had saved another animal in need.  An appointment was made for a few weeks later, so her second set of booster injections could be completed, she obviously hadn’t had any jabs done over the last few years.

Over the next few weeks she has slowly come out of her shell, jumping barriers we had put on peace to slowly introduce her to the home, coming downstairs and exploring, checking out the other kitty residents, she sleeps on our bed all night and really is a fab cat, we have fallen in love with her.

The hardest part is we don’t think she has been “done” so we are going to have to subject her to a surgery.  However our vet has offered us a telephone number so we can get a voucher to get the procedure completed done at a reduced rate, she feels we have been good enough to save her from an unloved situation so we deserve to have a good turn done for us, which was nice of her.

Sadly things don’t seem to be going great as far as integrating all three cats, last night while I was home alone.  Jessie quietly ventured downstairs, I noticed Cassie had barely moved all night from her high perch, then when she did she hid under the dining room table.  Lily was asleep on her blanket, Jessie came in the front room and suddenly turned on her, next there was hissing, chasing and lamps being knocked over.  Lily ran outside and I had to send Jessie away upstairs.  By the time Andrew got home, I had two very upset older residents and one sheepish new one.  We think she is heading into season, hence the aggression, so I will be heading back to the vets this week, in the meantime, we have segregated Jessie again to protect pussy cat relations in the household.

So this is Jessie Cat, that is three cats in the house, there will be no more, I’m just hoping we are able to keep Jessie, only time will tell 😦 but I have to be fair to Cassie and Lily 😻😻😻


More Botox

It was anticipated that I would have my next round of Botox in November, however that came and went, as did December and January.  As each month rolled into the next, the headache began to deteriorate.  I felt the only explanation could be the two previous Botox treatment’s which had seemed to have got “on top of” the pain had now completely worn off and I was now back at square one.

I called the hospital and spoke to the appointment line and asked if I had been missed somehow?  The lady assured me she would look into it and call me back, with an attempt to squeeze me in that week for the treatment.  Another week passed, no call back and by now I was really desperate and getting very down with the whole situation.  Thankfully I have an excellent Neurologist and was able to contact him directly, I reached out and he reassured me it would be sorted out, I made another call to the booking line and I was booked in less than a week later.

What followed in the week proceeding that appointment was personally very stressful and something I will not be blogging about, needless to say it caused my pain levels to ramp up to horrific levels and my emotions were left in tatters.  By the Friday of my appointment I was heading to Charing Cross Hospital on my own for this treatment and needless to say I was dreading it.  Firstly I shouldn’t have driven, my PoTs went into overdrive and by the time I got to the hospital my HR was all over the place, it took a good fifteen minutes, sitting quietly in the car to stop shaking and to calm the tears.  Then I needed to get to the tenth floor, now being alone I couldn’t use my chair, my shoulder isn’t strong enough to self propel, so I used my crutches.  Having already been PoTsie, this was the straw about to break the camels back.  The lifts in this hospital are shockingly awful and by the time I made it to the ward I was ready to faint, I had to ask them to find me a seat as I could feel my warning signs.

Thank goodness I had left plenty of time before my appointment, by the time I went in I was much more settled, however once called I got the shakes and Dr W asked how I was doing.  I asked him not to dwell on that as I was an emotional mess and he said I was allowed to have bad days and he would let me have a tissue, albeit a rough NHS one.  We both laughed, this is why I like him, he can even bring a smile when I am at rock bottom.

I hopped on the bed and that was the start of the 31 needles into my head and neck, it is over really quickly but the right hand side was agony.  I flinched with every needle prick, he noted that was unusual for me, I was deep breathing and concentrating hard just to get through it.  It is the weirdest sensation, to hear the botox being injected into your skull, very odd!!

Dr W cleaned me up, he always jokes it is so I don’t scare the other patients on the way out, I got my coat on.  We confirmed that I would definitely need to keep on top of three monthly appointments and not let it go over, the decline of the improvement had shown that Botox seems to be improving my condition.

After a few pleasantries I headed off home and that was it, for the next three months I must keep up with my headache diary, hope my pain level drops again to manageable levels and then ensure I get my next appointment for Botox in May.  I am thankful that I found the best Migraine specialist in the UK, well he is in my opinion, even if he does stab me 31 times !!

No Quick Fix

Seven months after messing up my shoulder at wheelchair basketball, I was finally seen by the Shoulder Consultant at Bolsover Street, Stanmore Hospital.  The MRI had shown some damage and my GP had indicated that surgery would be the only option so I went feeling very down and nervous.  We arrived and immediately the nurse sent me away for an x-ray, which just confused the hell out of me, as I thought an MRI would be a sufficient diagnostic tool.  However the surgeon was obviously being extremely thorough in his decision making process.

The hospital was really quiet in my opinion and I was the only person in radiology, so in and out, all done.  Back up to the clinic and after a matter of minutes I was called in to meet the surgeon.  We chatted about what I had done and an history with my shoulders, which funnily enough prior to last year I hadn’t had an issue with, then suddenly I had managed two sublaxations in quick succession, followed by this injury.  He then started to examine me.

First he noted that my shoulders, both of them, already sit partially sublaxed all the time!! He pushed them back in and asked if it was more comfortable, it was, I had never noticed before and maybe it was because I am now all skin and bones, that it is more prominent.  He started to check the nerves in my hands and arms and it was noted that, there is decreased feeling on the left hand side.  All this was a cause for concern but rather than rushing straight down the surgery route, he would rather start at the beginning, so first a fluoroscopy with painkillers and steroids injected deep into the joints to see if that will help heal the damage, secondly nerve testing on my arms and hands to see if there is damage, an MRI of my head and neck and finally a follow up to see how I am doing to discuss next steps.  I liked this approach, not rushing in like a bull in a china shop.  I didn’t really want an operation as this would take months to recover from, so baby steps were a good idea in my mind

I am off for the injections into my shoulder in about ten days time, to say I am nervous is an understatement but I would rather that than a full on op, including recovery time.  So hopefully over the next few weeks things will start to improve with strength and range of movement.  All I know is there is no quick fix for the damage I caused that night.


My life story really isn’t over yet, however when at the depths of depression it really does feel like it should be. A little voice tells me there is nothing worth living for, my illness makes me worthless and a burden and everyone would be better off without me.

I hit rock bottom again, I was suffering an intolerable amount of pain physically and emotionally.  Things just were getting on top of me, I can only describe it like an avalanche and as the snow cascades down the mountain it picks up momentum, it gets larger and faster.  It takes everything in its path, every emotion, every waking moment becomes about the depression and how to live with it, how it consumes your life.  Nothing can stop it, or so you think, unless you want it to stop.  Monday I laid in bed all day and cried, wept and considered, how, why and where I could or should end my life?  What impact would it have on those left behind, could I do it to those that I cared most about?  

Tuesday morning after another night of barely any sleep, I dialled the doctors surgery, I asked to speak to my GP.  Sadly he was on annual leave, now at that point I so very nearly ended the call but I pushed on and asked for the on call doctor to ring me.  An hour later the GP rang and once I explained what was going on, an appointment was arranged for that afternoon.  A few hours later I dragged on some clothes and got myself to the surgery, I met a lady GP who was new to me and blurted out why I was there.  That was that it was in the open, the dirty secret was out there.  Immediately she was going to alert the crisis team, anti-depressants were necessary and she suggested CBT to help keep my mind occupied.  

That night I took my first tablet and it made me feel awful, I slept for about 11 hours and woke with a hangover type feeling, they definitely don’t “agree” with me. The next day the crisis team contacted me and arranged our assessment appointment, for two weeks time!!  I felt this was going to be a situation that I would have to rectify myself, with the help of my good friends, I only have a few and they know who they are!!  So now it’s a case of trying to fix my own Mental Health issues as sadly our NHS is too stretched to help people like me.  So like the image says “my story isn’t over yet” but it could so easily have been if I had of been of weaker will.

Discovering Lucy Angel – A Preview

Yesterday I was given the fantastic opportunity to attend an event at Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club, I was told it was about a Country Music group who had a brand new TV show that was about to hit UK shores and this was our chance to meet them and get a feel for their music.

It was a fantastic day weather wise, the sun was shining and even though there was a brisk wind it certainly lifted spirits knowing that heading into London we would be seeing something very fresh and new.  As we got inside the Club there was an excited buzz about the place and we were soon greeted by the PR team, the band Kate (mum) and Lindsay and Emily (daughters) were milling around the room and wanting to meet everyone who had come along to help them on their journey to success on this side of the pond.  They are always supported by an entourage of family members and I will explain more about them in a little while.  It was also nice to meet them as well, this really is a family affair.

Our host from Lander Entertainment bought the proceedings to order and soon the ladies had our attention, now for those of us that LOVE country music, I couldn’t fault their melodies, harmonies or lyrics/song writing.  It was real Nashville stuff and how we haven’t heard more of them in the UK before I will never know, so now is the time to sit up and listen.

However they are here for now to promote their show, it is premiering on Showbiz TV on Sunday 14th February at 7:30pm.  It is from the Producer of “The Osbournes” so I think that speaks volumes.  If you can think Duck Dynasty meets the Kardashians, however these people have real talent and by the bucket load.  The family is made up of the three ladies in the band as I have explained, then you have Dad, who is also the band manager, Doug, he is known as G-Man, there are two sons Fletcher and Jake, also Anthony Smith, who is a hit songwriter for multiple big named artistes and Anthony and Lindsay’s daughter McCartney.  They also have a couple of dogs who you will see running around.

So please tune into Showbiz (Sky Channel 266) on Sunday, or set your Sky+ box to record it is well worth it, we got a sneak peak at the first episode and it looks brilliant.

The band told us they are only here for a few more days, they will be doing some sightseeing and then they hope to return, maybe later this year with some UK tour dates, I for one will be at the front of that queue to get tickets!

In the meantime I have a copy of their CD which I will be reviewing in the next week, so keep an eye out.

Thank you Lucy Angel for inviting Andrew and I along to your event, Landers Entertainment for your hospitality and Caroline at Canis Media who arranged everything for our attendance, we had a great time and wish you every success with the show, we will be tuning in, will you?