After my decision last summer to stop my pain medication, I made sure I returned ALL the strong pain meds to the chemist so I couldn’t fall back on my choice to live a life opiate free.
Now whilst I admit it was a silly idea to go cold turkey, I definitely couldn’t have done it without my family who stood by me as I thrashed about, cried, became so desperate I didn’t know what to do with myself but now we are out the other side I feel it was the best and only way I could get through it!
How do I manage now? Very occasionally I will have the odd paracetamol if my head pain is too much, if my joints are killing me, I try and use a warm bath or compress, I have just learnt that the meds were numbing me as a person and not my pain. Honestly my pain is no worse than the day that i stopped the highest dose of fentanyl. I have just learnt how to manage it better. Also trying to exercise, to build up the muscles, to support the joints and to not let myself wallow in the game of self pity or chronic illness bingo, it isn’t a game of who is suffering the most, more a case of who is surviving as well as is feasibly possible?
I know I still have my good days and my bad days, but I have learnt that I don’t need a stomach full of poison to get me through each day. For now life is better 🙂